Bachelor #1 says he wants a girl with a faithful mindset because he's "been through his party phase." really? then why is this your main profile picture?(modified to protect the guilty):
p.s.This is before he got himself an ENORMOUS chest tattoo (a flaming winged heart over his heart. really.) And in yet another photo he's flipping off the camera. "HAWT" in the parlance of his times.
Bachelor #2 says, "I'm Intellegent." No, you're not.
Bachelor #3 overshares this, "I have been cheated on in all my previous relationships... I guess that's the way they wanted out. It would be nice if they just told me they wanted out.. but I am starting to feel like I am "Broken" because this is happening too much." DAMN, kid. I really do feel bad for you, but there's a despair.com poster for you: "the only consistent feature in your dissatisfying relationships, is you." And I can't go there. I've never been a cheater and I don't want to become one. I didn't know it was contagious.
Bachelor #4 tells me, "Please don’t think that exclusion of thought and mediation are one and the same." I don't think anyone who can read thinks that.
Oh God, It's a Cat-chelor #5, "I have one cat now Mothra, Godzilla my other cat had to be put to sleep on April 8th when his kidneys began to fail him. Godzilla would have been 16 a week later. I'd had him since he was a kitten and he was a wonderful companion and I miss him very very much. I made this picture montage video about him after he passed. Mothra is a great cat too, she is around 15, and is just incredibly loving."
I'd like to thank Bachelor #6 for his resume: "Single 46 year old computer tech with 22 years experience and 4 years of component level electronics. Basically electrical, mechanical hardware/software it doesn't really matter. A natural troubleshooter, rarely fail or get overwhelmed. The thought that i might not solve the problem just isn't there." This might be appealing if I were a hiring director. As a potential mate it makes me think you're career obsessed and an arrogant ass. further evidenced by this statement "I'm an expert at playing devil's advocate." That just means "I am overtly annoying." p.s. you're way out of my age range, and your profile age says 48, not 46 (which is still too old) . and this "Foreign films I'd rather watch subs where you get the actor's original performance instead of out-of-sync dubbing. THE DARKER AND MORE VIOLENT THE BETTER. For the past couple of years I've started collecting quite a bit of japanese and eastern horror." is the nail in your scary/annoying coffin.
One of my trainees this week has a voice exactly like Morgan Freeman and asked me if I would be training his next class. Sadly I am not, because I think he was asking me to join him in a wild affair. And considering my options, I probably would have.
Hahaha, Julie, I just saw you had this page- this is freaking hilarious! My friend Amber thought I needed to meet new girls so she (unbeknownst to me) signed me up on match.com. Then lined up several dates with multiple girls and told me the day of what she had done. Kind of like a virtual pimp! I just have to say, her taste in girls varies widely from what floats my boat.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading some of your posts, I noticed its pretty one-sided; you should see some of the self-summaries girls now adays are posting- or what always cracks me up, on match a person can list what they are looking for in a guy or girl, and one of them is income! There is a large population of the girls out there who are looking for guys with an income over 100,000 and nothing below. Why not just put "I'm a gold digger" as your title?!I love to joke around and change my income to "under 25,000" and then message these girls asking them out only as long as we go somewhere that accepts my valupak coupons. Sadly, none have replied.
:) indeed, Chris, I haven't been patrolling female profiles and letting the site match me with ladies. so you may have to set up your own opposite blog! i've heard of the golddigging ladies from other guys, though. I'm not that bad, but one guy who made less than 20k and had 6 kids...i did reject him immediately. too soon? ;)
ReplyDeletethe sneak-attack friend creating profile is a classic. at least you'll have good stories. like i do!